I had thought i got rid of you- your existence and your extremely irritating love for silence - forever. Completely ignoring our previous love affair, i had moved ahead, fully sure that Mothu was the only one for me - the only love. Until that day when i heard Mrs kishori amonkar sing Sahela Re. It cut me so much deeper ... and somehow it was not Mothu ... it was so mch beyond him .. It was YOU.
What the hell !!! ... It took me back to the days ... when we were so much in love ... You were the only one for me .. everything back then seemed perfect - i blindly loved you, and thought that you care - that you will not let anybody suffer -
And then - I betrayed you - or you betrayed me ... doesnt matter really. Didnt want to do this - honestly ... but you left me with no choice. I opened my eyes to see .. and i couldnt find you anywhere. I searched, reasoned, consoled myself, searched again.
I HATE YOUR SILENCE !
why didnt you just come and tell me what you wanted ...
But its over now. I loved you far too much to accept the fact that you are not fair - that the world is not fair - instead i chose to believe that you do not exist.
And honestly .. i am much happier since then - far too afraid of the world ... but happy. happy with the feeling of being alone. Nothing seems rosy - but then nothing matters now. I feel like any other person - neither burdened nor empowered by your love. I have accepted my defeat ... or the victory - its all the same. In fact everything in ths world is the same as every other thing.
So then you will ask me why am i still alive - good question really! .... cos i am afraid .. of death .. well, not exactly that .. actually, ... i have a faint hope .. to discover the TRUTH and somehow hope that it proves - You are fair.
for i = now to finding_truth
process_GOD = SUSPENDED
next i
Bye Bye - Sahela Re ..
6 comments:
ek shottishi love story makes much more sense now.
:(
newy....
m always there for u (i guess i need not say that coz u know it rite?)
looks like ur not in a hurry..thts always a good thing :)
my dear child, my beautiful creation ,my pride possession ,how can i even think of betraying U? WHEN U ARE PART OF MY OWN EXISTANCE. MY VERY OWN SELF.I KNEW & ACCEPTED YOUR LOOVE FOR ME . I COULD ALSO SEE OUR FOOTPRINTS WALKING TOGETHR TOTALLY UNAWARE OF THE WORLD. & THEN I REALISED THAT U WERE DEPENDING ON ME TOTALLY, LEANING ON ME HEAVILY FOR EVERY NEED &SUPPORT, U REFUSED TO GROW & BE YOURSELF. THATS THE TIME ONWARDS I AM CARRIYING YOU ON MY PALM .SO YOU SAW ONLY ONE PAIR OF FOOTPRINTS WHICH WERE MINE, & THOUGHT I DESERTED U, BETRAYED U. MY DEAR CHILD ONE CANOT PART AWAY WITH ONES OWN EXISTANCE & STILL BE ALIVE. I AM VERYMUCH THERE FOR U & ALSO FOR EVERY ONE ELSE. I KEEP MEETING YOU- TOUCHING YOUR SOUL THROUGH SAHELA RE, AALAPS & ART THROUGH FRAGRANCE & FLOWERS SWEAT-& SEEDS GROWN. TRUST & FAITH .SUFFERINGS- PAIN & SMILE I KKEP BEING WITH U EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.MY CHILD DONT LOOSE HOPE. FEEL ME . LIFE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL KEEP THIS TRUST ALIVE. & NEVER NEVER SAY THAT IHAVE BETRAYED U YOURS FOREVER -- ALMIGHTY, GOD
my dear child, my beautiful creation ,my pride possession ,how can i even think of betraying U? WHEN U ARE PART OF MY OWN EXISTANCE. MY VERY OWN SELF.I KNEW & ACCEPTED YOUR LOVE FOR ME to the extent of madness.. I COULD ALSO SEE OUR FOOTPRINTS WALKING TOGETHR TOTALLY UNAWARE OF THE WORLD. & THEN I REALISED THAT U WERE DEPENDING ON ME TOTALLY, LEANING ON ME HEAVILY FOR EVERY NEED &SUPPORT, U REFUSED TO GROW & BE YOURSELF. THATS THE TIME ONWARDS I AM CARRIYING YOU ON MY PALM .SO YOU SAW ONLY ONE PAIR OF FOOTPRINTS WHICH WERE MINE, & THOUGHT I DESERTED U, BETRAYED U. MY DEAR CHILD ONE CANOT PART AWAY WITH ONES OWN EXISTANCE & STILL BE ALIVE. I AM VERYMUCH THERE FOR U & ALSO FOR EVERY ONE ELSE i created. I KEEP MEETING YOU- TOUCHING YOUR SOUL THROUGH SAHELA RE, AALAPS & ART THROUGH FRAGRANCE & FLOWERS SWEAT-& SEEDS GROWN. TRUST & FAITH .SUFFERINGS- PAIN & SMILE I KEEP BEING WITH U EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.MY CHILD DONT LOOSE HOPE. FEEL ME AROUND. LIFE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL KEEP THIS TRUST ALIVE. & NEVER NEVER SAY THAT I HAVE BETRAYED U YOURS FOREVER -- ALMIGHTY, GOD
ajibaat mhaNaje ajibaatach jhepala naahee :( haLu haLu 1-1 oL aat shirel temvhaach puDhachee oL asa karaawa lagel bahutek ..
This post is probably the most heartfelt one to have come from you.......i don't know who it is meant for and to what end......but i do know that it is very honest......that this is you who wants to chose for yourself.....
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